neopolitan cake

neopolitan cake

i like some artificial fruit flavorings - banana laffy taffys, sour apple lollipops, and blue raspberry slushies are all delicious - but i have a strong aversion to anything made to taste like strawberry. that goes for strawberry milk, strawberry jelly beans, and store-bought strawberry ice cream. the quarts of neopolitan ice cream with chocolate, vanilla, [...]

tectonic smash cake

tectonic smash cake

soil profiles! wow, talk about something i don't give a fuck about! i'd rather pass an entire slim jim through my sinus cavity than have to learn about loam and bedrock again. APES was such a bullshit class. that might've had something to do with my teacher not believing in climate change, but who knows. so WHY [...]

dark chocolate clementine cake

dark chocolate clementine cake

clementines offer a brightness matched by few other types of winter produce. beets are earthy and evasive; radishes are spicy and curt; grapefruit packs a punch, but its bitter aftertaste offsets its initial sunniness. january's gloomy nights, often solely illuminated by dull moonlight on dirty snow, parallel this cake's dense chocolate sponge and thick, dark ganache. solace arrives in the form [...]

dark chocolate cake with blueberry preserves and liquid cheesecake

dark chocolate cake with blueberry preserves and liquid cheesecake

nick jr. usually stops showing peppa pig around 3 am, so if i'm still awake, i turn to infomercials to keep me entertained. early one morning, bleary-eyed after enduring a two-hour long ad for hip-hop abs, i was about to switch the tv off, when suddenly.......big letters and boldly colored fruits flashed across the screen! a hallucination? an [...]

super smash cake

super smash cake

the first boy i remember having a crush on was marth, one of the characters from super smash bros. then it was link, another character from the game. i definitely had (have) a thing for animated boys with swoopy hair and swords. when it came to actually playing, i always chose pikachu because i thought (he? she?) had [...]

chocolate malt cake with malt fudge and charred marshmallows

chocolate malt cake with malt fudge and charred marshmallows

many describe childhood as tasting like strawberry poptarts, animal crackers, and crustless pb&js. to me, it tastes like ovaltine powder scooped straight from the jar. i skipped the milk and relied on saliva to keep me from choking, allowing the powder to moisten into a thick, fudgy paste in the back of my throat. ovaltine is [...]

chocolate chip peanut butter cookie dough brownie cake

chocolate chip peanut butter cookie dough brownie cake

  this is more a Neat Stack Of Diabetes than it is a cake. rounds of peanut butter cookie dough get spread with chocolate ganache and squashed between brick-like layers of brownie, then doused in more ganache and frosted with rosettes of whipped peanut butter buttercream. butterbutterbutterbutterbutter. i'm not sure what the best occasion for [...]