crack pie


okay, imagine the best oatmeal cookie you’ve ever had. for me, that’s firm but chewy, with a hint of cinnamon and no raisins. now imagine it smothered in a viscous, buttery, saccharine caramel. straight liquid gold. top it with a creamy, melt-in-your-mouth custard, and garnish with some sifted cocain- powdered sugar. this is crack pie. this is the only thing that matters.

this recipe makes two pies (so one serving). i have yet to find a way to consume ~some~ without consuming ~all~. make this for some neighbors whose digestive tracts you want to screw over, or make it for yourself to eat alone on a quiet night in. light some candles, get yourself a nice ass spoon, and go! to! town!

adapted from the momofuku milk bar cookbook
*the original recipe calls for corn powder? pulverized freeze-dried sweet corn? i substituted a little extra salt and some cornstarch and it came out fine. if you have corn powder on hand, the recipe calls for 24 grams*


  • 115g (1 stick) butter, at room temperature
  • 75g (1/3 cup packed) light brown sugar
  • 40g (3 tbsp) sugar
  • 1 egg yolk
  • 80g (1/2 cup) flour
  • 120g (1 1/2 cups) old-fashioned oats
  • 0.5g (1/8 tsp) baking powder
  • 0.25 g (a pinch) baking soda
  • 2g (1/2 tsp)  kosher salt
  • 15g (1 tbsp packed) light brown sugar
  • 1g (1/2 tsp) kosher salt
  • 55g (1/2 stick) butter, melted


  • 300g (1 1/2 cups) sugar
  • 180g (3/4 cup packed) light brown sugar
  • 20g (1/4 cup) milk powder
  • 10g ( 2 tbsp) cornstarch
  • 8g (2 tsp) kosher salt
  • 225g (2 sticks) butter, melted
  • 160g (3/4 cup) heavy cream
  • 2g (1/2 tsp) vanilla extract
  • 8 egg yolks

first you have to bake a giant oat cookie to use in the crust. preheat the oven to 350º and line a baking sheet with parchment. cream the butter and sugars together in a stand mixer until fluffy and pale yellow. scrape down the bowl and add the egg yolk, beating for 2 more minutes. on low speed, add the flour, oats, baking powder and soda, and salt. mix just until it comes together. plop the dough down into the pan and pat it into an even circle (1/4 thick). bake for 10-15 minutes; the top should be caramelized and puffed slightly. cool completely.

break up the cookie and put it in a food processor with the additional brown sugar and salt. pulse until it reaches the consistency of wet sand. transfer the crumbs to a bowl, and add the melted butter. knead until the mixture is moist enough to hold together when pinched, but not overly buttery. divide the mixture between two pie tins. press it firmly into the bottom and sides of each tin. put the two tins next to each other on a baking sheet. set aside.

for the filling, you must use a stand mixer on low speed. this is essential for a silky final product (dense and gooey, not fluffy). combine the sugars, milk powder, cornstarch, and salt in the mixer and mix on low speed until combined. add the butter; mix for 2 to 3 minutes. add the heavy cream and vanilla and continue to mix for 2 minutes. add the egg yolks, paddling just until combined. the mixture should be glossy and homogeneous. divide it evenly between the prepared pie tins.

bake at 350º for 15 minutes. the pies should be golden brown and very jiggly. open the oven door and reduce the oven temperature to 325º. close the door and bake for 5 more minutes. the sides should be almost set, and the middle should still be jiggly in the very center. remove from the oven and let cool to room temperature, then freeze for at least 3 hours in order to condense the filling. when ready to eat, bring to refrigerator temperature, and serve cold.



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